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This
is the ongoing story of my kitty cat, Clyde Lail, as told by Clyde himself! |
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Information About Me! - October 2002 |
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Hi! My name is Clyde Lail. I was born on April 21st,
1990. My favorite toy is a stuffed mouse my daddy bought for me after a
doctor took my claws out. Every once in awhile, I have to attack
people’s hands because they are acting suspicious. Since I do not have any
claws anymore, I grab the hand and just bite it. Pretty soon, the hand gives
up and I declare victory! My favorite snack is Temptations Kitty Treats. I get a
few each day (sometimes twice a day). My regular food is Purina Hairball
Formula. I had a problem with barfing up hairballs all over the house, so dad
changed my regular food to this hairball stuff. It works pretty good, but
I’ll go ahead and barf one up every now and then just to keep in practice. I have not been allowed to run around outside for a
couple years now. It seems that someone in the neighborhood wants a fur cap
and I am it. I was poisoned one time and thought I was going to die. But dad
came home and rushed me to the vet. Old Doc took good care of me that time.
Another time, I came home with an arrow through my neck. Dad, mom, and my big
brother freaked out. I was taken to the emergency clinic, and it is a wonder
I was not killed on the way with dad driving like a madman to get me there!
The arrow had somehow missed everything except the skin on the top of my neck!
Lucky for me that was! But boy it sure hurt a lot. That last incident was when the family decided that I
could no longer go outside. It was not long after that when old Doc tortured
me again. I bet if my dad knew he was going to do that, he would have
beaten him up! Update - October 2003
And just when it seems that everything is peachy keen,
something else happens. Staying inside didn’t make me completely safe either.
One week I was frolicking around as usual and the next week I almost died -
again! I developed crystals in my urinary tract and couldn’t pee. Let me tell
you that was uncomfortable. My Dad rushed me to the emergency room and to Doc
Hill the next day. To make a long story shorter, I had to stay in the hospital
for a week, I had a major surgery, and I had to wear a ridiculous plastic
cone on my head for almost three weeks. I also have to start eating a
different food. Old Doc Hill says that it will help me stay well. I don’t
know if I believe him or not though. You know how he is and how he likes to
do weird things to me every time my Dad takes me to his office. And now I
don’t get my snacks anymore either! I think that Doc Hill stays up nights
trying to find new ways to torment me! My Dad and brother Johnny came to visit me in the
hospital a couple times. I was sure glad to see them. I tried to tell them
what that old doctor was doing to me, but for some reason they STILL cannot
understand me! That’s OK. I am at home now. My Dad must have gotten wind of the
torture that Doc Hill and his gang was putting me through so he and Johnny
came and got me. Dad talked to Doc Hill for a long time when he came to
rescue me. I bet he was really letting him have it for torturing me and doing
all those unspeakable things to me! I really love my family. I am glad they
love me too! I love my mom, brother, and sisters, but my dad is my
very best friend! We hang out a lot while he is doing things around the
house. He mostly does things and I mostly hang out. Sometimes, I get tired
from following him around and just flop down and take a nap. My favorite place to catch a nap is my shoebox. My
brother, Johnny, gives me a new box when he gets new shoes. Since he has huge giant
feet, the box is just right! I also like to soak up the sun behind the blinds
in the den. Other than that, it is the window ledge for me! I must keep an
eye on the yard you know. Even if I can’t go outside, it is still my yard! If
another cat comes around, I run around yelling to beat the band so someone
will go outside and run the troublemaker off! Life is pretty good around here. I eat, I sleep, I eat some more, I sleep some more, and I get petted a lot. What more could I ask for? I am a happy kitty! Update - March 2004
I seem to be developing a case
of halitosis – that means bad breath (pretty good vocabulary for a kitty
isn’t it?) My dad
took me to see Dr. Hill and his gang again to see what the problem is. While
the doc distracted my dad, his cohorts spirited me off into the backroom and
tried to drain my blood! I think they are vampires! I put up a fight though
and they soon were satisfied with just a little bit in a tube. They
took me back to my dad who held me and rubbed my neck. They told him some
cock and bull story about needing a blood sample, but I know the truth. Anyway,
the doc told dad that my blood looks OK (yea, OK for a snack maybe) and that
I can have my teeth cleaned after all. Dad decided against the teeth cleaning
for now and bought me a toothbrush and some icky tasting toothpaste. Let me
tell you that I DO NOT sit still for this mistreatment. No sir, not at all. I am
sure that old Doc Hill put him up to this as I know my dad would never do
anything like this to me on his on. Whatever it takes though, my dad is
determined to keep me well and happy. He is my hero! Update - July 2004
Howdy! Everything seems to be
going OK in Kitty Land these days. Let me tell you though: I DO NOT like
having my teeth brushed. I am sure that doctor put Dad up to this torture by telling
him it would be good for me. Old Doc Hill is sneaky like that. Now I learn
that this is going to start happening more often! Good grief! Dad HAS started
giving me a snack about once a month now. I guess anything is better than
nothing. My big hairy sister, Jess, is doing well too. Dad says
that he might make Jess a page too. Dad is so cool. He tries to take
good care of us even if we make it hard on him sometimes. He gets a lot of
help from Mom and Johnny too. And Candy is always ready to scratch my head
when she visits! What a life I have! Isn’t it great! I am still on the special food that Old Doc Hill put me
on. It isn’t so bad. I get as much as I want, as I always have, and it
actually tastes pretty good. Dad says that it is pretty expensive at $23.00 a
bag, but that I am worth it. I still have a problem with that loud noise that comes
around when water starts falling in front of the windows. I don’t know what
it is, but it sure scares me. I like to hide under Johnny’s bed downstairs in
the basement when it starts booming and shaking the house. It is nice and
dark in the basement so whatever is out there will not be able to find me!
Aren’t I a smart kitty? I had another birthday on April 21st. Dad says
that I turned 14 years old. I don’t know what that means, but he was all
happy and singing to me that day. Jess had a birthday in February, she is
now10 years old, and he sang to her too. He must just like to sing that song
I guess. Well, that is about all I have to say. This typing is not
so easy for a cat you know. Update - August 2005
There is an intruder in my
house! Johnny found a baby cat wandering around the parking lot where he
works and brought it home. I am NOT happy about this. Mom named her “Eckerd”
because that is where she was found. I am sure that my dad didn’t know
anything about this “thing” or he would have said no way! She has been here for a couple months now and eats all
the time. Sometimes, I think that she is trying to eat ME. She WILL NOT leave
me alone. All she wants to do is play, play, play. I know for a fact that I
never bothered ANYONE when I was young. There was none of that silly playing
all day and chasing strings and things around either. I was much too
sophisticated for that. This thing does not know the meaning of quit. I don’t
think it has an off button. My Dad yells at her when she is bothering me and
sometimes makes her go to another room. I bet he is giving her a good talking
to when he
gets her there too because she has been bothering me so much! But it doesn’t
do any good because she is right back in my face within a couple minutes. I slap her silly every once in awhile, but that doesn’t
matter to her. She only has two speeds too: Wild and Wilder. I had to get my
Dad to put my special food in a back room so she would leave it alone. She
has to eat kitty food and I have a prescription food that the evil Dr. Hill
makes me eat. If she would just not think that she has to try to eat me
every time she comes around, my life would be a little easier. Sometimes, she
gets tired and just wants to snuggle up to me. Sometimes I let her. Most of
the time I just slap her silly and send her on her way. It looks like she is here to stay though so I might as
well get used to it. I don’t have to like it though. Dad lets
her sleep in our room now because she won't stop hollering to get in. He says that I am still his boy
though. I sure love my dad. Update – November
2005
Dad says that there are a bunch
of women who he met on the internet at a soap opera place called “Toni’s” who think that
I am one good-looking guy! Heck, dad and mom have been telling me that for
years so it must be true! I used to be quite the ladies
man when I was allowed outside. I was also fierce and protected my people and
my house too! Now all I have time to do is try
to keep from being eaten by this new addition to our home. Dad says her name
is Eckerd but he calls her “Runt” most of the time. He also calls her “Pudge”
once in awhile because of the way she scrunches up her nose. He calls her
some other things when she is trying to eat me, but I can’t spell those
words. She already weighs eight pounds!
You would understand why if you saw her eat. That’s all she wants to do. Dad
says it is because she is still a baby at only seven months old and she needs
to eat a lot so that she will grow up and be healthy and strong. I think she
is a little monster. Except she is not so little anymore. We have been getting along a bit
better than before though. Now she leaves me alone most of the time and only
wants to eat me when she gets really excited or has slept too long. She is
always biting me on the butt! I keep telling her that I am going to bite her
head off one of these days but she won’t listen. Oh well, I suppose she will
grow out of it one day. I hope so anyway as I am getting tired of slapping
her on the head all the time. She is a cute little thing
though and I suppose that I will let her stay. Besides, sometimes we actually
get along and she is a little sweetie. Not very often, but sometimes. Dad still says that I am his boy
and that nobody will ever take my place! Update – December 2006Wow! It has been a long time!
Things have been different around here for the past several months. Mom moved
out, then Johnny moved up to a place called “Boone”. It sounds scary. It’s pretty quiet around here
most of the time. That is until Dad starts playing one of his guitars. I
always run and hide when he starts playing. I hate loud noise. Eckerd is just
weird. She will sit on top of Dad’s amp sometimes. He has to turn it down so
he won’t hurt her ears. I miss Johnny, but I
still have my Dad. And Eckerd is still trying to eat me sometimes. It’s not
as funny as it used to be. She is getting big! I have to really pop her every
now and then so she will leave me alone! Dad says that this is the last
Christmas we will have in our house. I don’t know what he is talking about of
course. He seems sort of sad about it. I have been trying to cheer him up by
letting him scratch my back! He likes to do that for some reason. He keeps
telling Eckerd and I not to worry that he will take care of us. Heck, I know
my Dad will take care of us. He doesn’t have to say it. It looks like I have a bunch of
Kitty Treats again this year! It looks like that other cat got some too.
Jessie’s treats are really big this year. She is so silly. Dad can just walk
around the house and when she sees him, she starts barking like she has not
seen him in a week. Silly dog. Jess and me have been together for a long time
now. I guess we are friends since we actually don’t mind being around each
other. I guess I sort of like Eckerd
too. She licks my ears every now and then. That feels pretty good. She is
also getting very pretty. Dad says that we are the two prettiest kitties in
the world. I know that must be true because my Dad knows everything about
kitties! I guess I better go and eat
before Eckerd eats all the food. Dad tries to keep the bowls full, but she is
still an eating machine. Dad says she is still growing and to just be patient
with her. Update – July 2007
OK. We moved out of our house a couple months ago. Then Dad said that he was going to have to move again and was worried about us. Dad is now staying with his sister until he can buy us another place to live. Eckerd and I are staying at Joey’s house. That’s Dad’s nephew. Dad comes up every day and cleans out our litter box, feeds us, and talks to us for a while. Jess is staying with our old neighbor. Dad says not to worry. We will have our own home again soon. I love my Dad. I know that it won’t be too long. This place is all right I suppose. This “Joey” guy sure makes a lot of noise when he is sleeping though. It sounds like one of those trains over near the old house. Eckerd and I just lie on the back of his sofa and take in the sun. I like the sun. It never seems to get too hot for me and Eckerd. Joey and his girlfriend have started giving us bites of their supper. Dad tells them not to give us much or we will barf. I don’t know what barf is, but it doesn’t sound like fun. Eckerd seems to have grown up while I was not looking. She weighs more than I do now. She no longer tries to eat me like she once did. Now she just wants to play once in a while. I can handle playing a little bit. As long as she doesn’t start biting me again. She was a mean little critter. Dad says that I need to start eating more as I have lost a little weight. He is always worried about us. I will try to eat more so I can get bigger than Eckerd again. Update –
August 2007 Dad was very sad today for some reason. He said that Jess was really sick and she was going to go to sleep for a while. I tried to make him feel better by rubbing on his leg. Eckerd noticed it too and even she was trying to help. Dad cried when he talked to us about Jessie. I know it will be all right though. Dad will do what he has to for us. He says that it won’t be long before we get to move into our Town Home, whatever that is. I don’t care as long as we are together again. Me and Eckerd have sure missed Dad. Even though he comes to see us every day, we still miss him. I am still losing weight. Dad seems to be really worried about this. I don’t feel too good sometimes, but I don’t think it is anything to bad wrong. It is probably just because I am getting old. Yea, I know I am an old kitty. Dad says that I am still his little boy, but I think he knows something is wrong with me. I hope that Eckerd turns into a good buddy for him. Of course, she has a lot to learn as I have always been the brains of this little outfit! I can’t wait until we get moved! It will be nice having us all together again. Dad says that Jessie will be there too. We won’t be able to see her, but she will be there. Dad says that we will always be together no matter what happens. Update –
September 2007 Hey guys. I think that this is going to be my last update. I am really sick now. Dad is worried really bad and I have seen him crying. I tried to tell him that it would be all right, and we would always be together forever like he said. Even Eckerd seems to know that I am sick. She has been really sweet to me and has been trying to help me keep myself clean. Dad does what he can with my brush, but he seems so sad when he is doing it. I can’t eat too good now for some reason, and my belly hurts pretty bad sometimes. Dad seems to know something that he isn’t telling me. I know that whatever he does will be for the best because I know my Dad loves me. He is always telling me that I am the very best Furry Friend that he has ever had, and that nobody will ever take my place. We finally got to move into our new place. It is really nice. I just wish I were going to be around a little longer. At least we all got to be together one more time. I may just be a kitty, but I know something is bad wrong with me now. I know that if Dad could fix it, he would. My Dad would do anything for us little guys. Dad is very sad today. We went to see the doctor and I don’t think what he said was to good. Dad brought me back home but said he would bring me back in a little while. We have been lying on the bed for a while and Dad has been petting me and talking to me about all the things I use to do. He told me that I would be going to sleep like Jessie did and that he would see me when I wake up. He told me to not be afraid and that I would see him at some place called Rainbow Bridge. I guess I better go now. I have had fun telling you all about my life. I made it almost seventeen and a half years. I have lived a long time for a kitty. But I guess it’s time to say goodbye. I want to thank the Doc for taking care of me all these years. I guess he did a pretty good job after all. So long everyone. Johnny and Candy, I love you guys too. It was fun playing with you all when I was little. Please don’t forget me when I am gone. Bye Dad. I love you. You were my best friend. 04/21/1990 - 09-2007 ________________ From Dad, Clyde went to sleep today for the last time with his
head lying on my hand. I petted him and told him how much we all loved him. I
sang to him and told him that nobody would ever take his place and that we
would never forget him. I told him to find everyone else and wait for me at
the bridge. Bye baby. I love you. – Dad
On July 11, 2024, I lost another little kitty who I
named Lillabet. I first started calling her "Little Bit" but decided that
she needed a proper name. She adopted me and trusted me. I thought that I
would get her spayed and let her live with me and Eckerd. She trusted me and
I let her down. She died two hours after coming home from the clinic. I will
never forgive myself for taking her to that butcher shop in Claremont, NC
run by the Catawba County Humane Society. Rainbow Bridge Just this side
of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
I will see you guys when I get
there. Wait for me. Dad
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